I'm all over the place today, so please get organized and shut the F up.
Rangers Opening Day -- They got pounded like Pam Anderson at a Chris-Craft convention today. After seeing the box score I feel much better about not calling-in sick to the job so I could sneak off to Garlington for a beating... and a Rangers game. Having said that, I will now say something else that needs to be said, which is "Josh Hamilton for President", but other than that, please kill me in my sleep with a hospital pillow. It sucks to be a Rangers fan...
The Ticket's Great Game -- The game itself is Thursday, May 8th, but the draft takes place tomorrow, Wed 4/9, during the Hardline at roughly 5:30p. I'm hoping to get drafted but I realize that it is a long shot. Hopefully someone will get drunk and mistake me for a white Cecil Fielder. For some reason, Rhynes has sworn off the Ben and Skin Show, and the great Chris House -- so it could very well be Musers or bust for us. I left a VHS tape of me taking some fungo on the Old Gray Wolf'sdoorstep last week, but since he only knows me as Porn Santa, I'm afraid that could've been extremely disappointing.
Mavs Pulse -- It is so hard for me to get a handle on how I feel about this team, mainly because Dirk has been so incredible on just one wheel. They're either fittin' to be bounced like a racquetball in Round One, or they're on the verge of something special. I don't know about you (because I don't read your blog) but my kneejerky outlook sways violently from game to game. If Dirk can't get back to 100% before the post season begins, they're in big trouble (I know, I'm way out on a limb with that gold, aren't I? Answer me! Aren't I?!)... Sorry. Look, they've somehow been able to keep his severely-limited-by-ankle-loss game somewhat under the radar for whatever reason of late, but the fact that he can barely walk would be extremely exposed over the course of a playoff series.
Grown Man Hoops -- All I care about right now is playing half court basketball with other olds who are varying degrees of terrible. Sadly, I am having a hard time finding that fix on a regular basis. Most people who are as bad as I am have wisely given up on the game. My research also indicates that most people who ball these days run full court, which sucks for old fats like me who have no interest in that much heartpump danger. I don't want to play with a bunch of athletic, in-shape 25-year olds that run full court and yell at me for not trying. I need to find a steady, twice-per-week, half court game where no more than eight 35+ year old asthmatic slow people show up for friendly, defenseless roundball action. If you know of such a paradise, please get at me.
Off to the Mavs game. See you in 2 weeks. Please pray for me.
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